What are some funny and smart quotes?

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

Do older women know what they want?

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

Is Melania still angry that she failed as a model? Why is she so cold and hostile? Why did she blame everyone for her actions in her trite book?

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

Do Flat Earthers exist today? If so, where do they live?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”